08/14/2022
3am… can’t even close my eyes so I decided to share something with you:
It’s really not easy for me to talk about things like that since I’m supposed to be a strong man and bla bla bla but I really hope it‘s going to help me if I share it.
My life is such a roller coaster right now that I’m on burn out!
It kind of started with Berlin: life was good, I didn’t do much, lived my best life there and make money. I understood a lot out there: what I am doing wrong with my life, what I need to work on and what I need to quit for good. I can’t really say that I did change something but now, with all those ideas in my head it drives me crazy and in a bad way…
After Berlin I did have some good news, will get a new car soon, my gf almost got her driving license and so we bought her a car, camping, future plans…
On the other hand, I feel like I’m the biggest looser out of all my friends and that I don’t deserve anything that I have.
Main problem is that I can’t find myself: my dreams are so big but my ex*****on sucks. For last 7 years I’ve done a lot of different stuff: investments, multi level marketing, restaurants, delivery, wanted to open my own business and was even ready to do nails as my gf does. I was looking for something that will not only bring me money but also some joy. It didn’t happen, not just yet.
Today I got fired from a restaurant I’ve been working for 1 year already. I wasn’t taking this job seriously and just didn’t show up for my last shift. I don’t even blame them for firing me, I know it is my fault, I was tired of working 60 hours a week and I wanted to quit but I knew I need money. Well, I guess I will have some rest now…
What about my dreams now? I have no idea… I was planning to hit 100k$ this year but I guess now it is going way harder…
I really don’t know what to do now, not only about the restaurant but about my life in general. Hopefully I will be able to find a good psychologist who will be able to help. I’ll let you know I guess.