11/06/2025
There are seven common signs to look for:
1.You Don't Feel Connected
Your partner talks with you when it is convenient. However, they have never actually asked what your plans are for the future or how you can work together to build the life you want.
They constantly brag about themselves and their accomplishments and rarely show interest or ask questions about anything going on in your life. Their happiness comes from external sources such as prestige at work and money. You wonder if they are even capable of feeling romantic love or emotional connection.
2. You Feel Manipulated
Your partner will make subtle threats throughout the relationship. They may not be direct with their words, but you'll get a sense that if you don't do something for them or give in to what they want, bad things will happen. Sometimes, it's easier just to go along with what they want even if you don't really agree with it. This is a way of controlling and manipulating their partners to get what they want.
Often, people in this kind of relationship forget what life was like before the manipulation started.
3. You Don't Feel Good Enough
You have feelings of inadequacy that don't match what you've accomplished in your life. Your partner tends to put you down or make negative comments about the things that you do. You've lost touch with the things that you used to enjoy doing because you don't have time for them anymore.
Maybe you're always tired and it's difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You've begun hiding things from family or friends or feel ashamed about what goes on in your life. You lie to cover up the things that your partner does or does not do.
4. You're Constantly Being Gaslighted
When someone constantly denies things that you know to be true, they are gaslighting you.3 This is often seen in abusive or controlling relationships and is a common tactic among narcissists.
For example, your spouse may make a comment like "You just don't remember right" about something that you know happened. They will gaslight you into believing that certain things never happened or that they did things because of something you did or said first.
Your partner may tell lies about your behavior and try to twist reality so that it fits their version of events rather than what really happened. You might begin second-guessing yourself and feel like you're going crazy.
If they do this in front of family members and friends, those people may start to think the problem is with you instead of your partner. It can be difficult for others to realize what happens behind closed doors because your partner appears so charming on the surface.
5. You Avoid Conversations
It may seem as though every conversation with your partner ends in an argument no matter how hard you try to stay calm and not get upset by what they say or do. The narcissist constantly tries to push your buttons to get you to react; controlling others' emotions gives them a sense of satisfaction.
Often, it's easier to avoid having a conversation entirely than to deal with the constant mind games.
6. You Feel Responsible for Everything
Narcissists think that everything is always someone else's fault, including the things that they do wrong. You won't get an apology from a narcissistic person. Narcissists don't see other people as being on equal footing with them so it makes sense why apologizing would be out of the question.
Your narcissistic partner likely never takes responsibility for their actions and always blames you. If something goes wrong, it is your fault, even if they're to blame.
Everything bad that happens in their life is somehow because of you, which leaves you feeling like there's nothing that you can do right.
7. You Feel Criticized Constantly
Your partner is excessively critical of your appearance. They might make comments about your weight, clothes, or choice of hairstyle. They make fun of you or put you down; this might happen behind your back and/or to your face.
