18/11/2020
CRAIG'S THREE THINGS ON THURSDAY
Covid-19 permitting, my fiancée Ursula and I are set to get married in January. While life with Ursula is going wonderfully well and we have not had a single argument so far, we have started attending a marriage course being run by our friends’ church. Naturally, this gave me the idea for today’s topic.
Unfortunately, money is often a major source of conflict in a relationship. So, what can be done to minimise conflicts around money? Yep, I’ll outline 3 of them.
NEVER JUDGE YOUR PARTNER
(Full disclosure…I’m a little guilty of this one)
Everyone has different priorities, and part of operating within a partnership is to respect your partner’s choices. That includes keeping an open mind, for example, if your spouse’s spending habits differ from your own.
If you truly think your partner has a spending (or thrift) problem, then it’s time to have an honest and loving conversation with them. If you’re just annoyed that they spent money on something that you would never spend money on, give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
And pick your battles. A small purchase that doesn’t impact on your financial goals and plans is nothing to get annoyed about.
HAVING JOINT AND INDIVIDUAL BANK ACCOUNTS
For couples that prefer to have a joint account but find themselves clashing over different personal spending, I love the idea of also having individual bank accounts as well.
The idea behind this method is that all income goes into a joint account or accounts, and all savings, debt, and retirement are managed jointly. In addition, each person has an individual account into which a set amount is transferred each month. This “personal fund” can be spent on any wants or needs they have that aren’t a joint expense—or on gifts for their spouse. This way your spouse can never judge you for buying $400 shoes or top-of-the-line headphones, as long as you pay for them out of your own account.
Having individual accounts also enables gifts to be kept a secret!
SET GOALS TOGETHER
Successful couples come up with goals together and check in frequently to make sure they’re on the same page.
Do you want to purchase a home together? Are you saving up for kids? Do you want to add extra superannuation? Or plan a big trip to France?
Importantly, these goals should be S.M.A.R.T Goals.
SMART goals are:
Specific: Well defined, clear, and unambiguous
Measurable: With specific criteria that measure your progress toward the accomplishment of the goal
Achievable: Attainable and not impossible to achieve
Realistic: Within reach, realistic, and relevant to your life purpose
Timely: With a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date.
Or course, couples should be regularly reviewing their goals together and examining their spending plan to ensure it aligns to those goals.
