10/15/2026
It sounds like sensible advice. But if your 20-year-old is struggling to find work or watching most of their pay disappear into everyday expenses, it might be hard to hear.
As parents, we want our kids to get ahead. I know I have 2 daughters and my sister has 4. We want them to save, start investing and feel excited about their future.
But sometimes we need to pause and ask, “How are you feeling about all of this?”
They might be sending out resumés and hearing nothing back. - Yep
Working, but still unable to afford to move out. Yep
Or wondering why everyone else seems to have things figured out. Yep
Before you pull out the advice, let’s give them room to talk.
And when they’re ready, we can help them work through the money side together:
Start with where they are. Look at what’s coming in and what their essentials actually cost. Leave the “when I was your age” comparisons out of it. We had it pretty good in the 80's and 90's.
Make the first goal manageable. A small emergency cushion or paying down a credit card can be something to feel good about. If there’s no money left after essentials, acknowledge that, too.
Talk about investing without adding pressure. Starting young gives money more time to grow, but they need room in their budget first. Help them understand the basics now, so they feel more comfortable when they’re ready to begin.
Offer help that works for both of you. That might mean reviewing a budget, practising for an interview or making an introduction. If you’re helping financially, make sure it fits your own retirement plans.
We don’t have to have every answer. Sometimes a good place to start is:
“I know you’re trying. Let’s sit down and figure out the next step together.”
If they aren't in the mood to talk then give them space and definitely don't bring it up when you run into them in the kitchen at 11:00PM rummaging though the fridge while mumbling "there is never anything to eat in this house"
The conversation will happen when it happens.
