12/01/2025
I hate being misunderstood.
I donāt ever want to be thought of as selfish or mean or unkind.
But the thing Iāve learned is, Iām not in charge of someoneās perception of me.
Years ago I went through something tough in a friendship. Everything I did and said went was misinterpreted as something else.
It was awful and I felt terrible. Not just because I wanted to be understood, but because my friend was hurt. I am a fixer and with everything in me wanted to fix it, but I couldnāt.
One night I was sitting on my couch watching a movie. The stress of the broken friendship was weighing on me constantly. Was there something more I could do? Something more I could say? Why were we missing each other so completely?
The ending credits started and a song came on that grabbed my attention with the words ānothing to proveā. At the same moment I looked down at my phone and what was playing on Spotify in the girls bedroom rolled across the screen: āNothing left to proveā.
Nothing left to prove. Nothing left to prove. I knew it was for me.
I am in charge of my own heart and that is all. I can do my best and someone can still misunderstand, and thatās not mine to carry.
It doesnāt mean Iām perfect or do everything right (not by a long shot), but if I screw up I want to make it right. And thatās honestly all friendship requires of us. We have to let the rest go.
Ugh thatās hard. But itās also releasing.
Friends, we can only do our best. We can only manage our own hearts. We donāt need to prove or defend our intentions until weāre run ragged. In fact we shouldnāt do that, itās not our job.
Our job is to love our people to the best of our ability, and to release the rest.
Ctto