05/31/2026
Should Students Take Out Loans… or Should I, the Parent, Borrow Instead?
This is one of the most emotional financial decisions a family will make. By the time you get here, acceptance letters are in, the excitement is high, and the pressure to “make it work” can be strong. I have seen good decisions made in this moment, and I have seen families create long-term strain because they felt like they had to say yes to everything.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer, but there are some guiding principles that can keep you grounded. First, you have to take care of your own plan. There is no loan for retirement. If taking on parent debt puts your long-term security at risk, that is too high a cost. Helping your child is important, but it cannot come at the expense of becoming a financial burden to them later.
Second, clarity matters. Before anyone signs for anything, there needs to be a clear understanding of who is responsible for repayment. If the student is borrowing, they need to understand what that payment will look like after graduation. If the parent is borrowing, that needs to be a conscious decision, not something that just “happened” in the process. Assumptions are where problems begin.
Third, start with the least expensive money first. Scholarships and grants come first. Then look at what can be reasonably cash-flowed. Savings come next, and borrowing should be the last step, not the first. When loans are necessary, federal student loans are often more flexible than private loans, especially when it comes to repayment options.
Fourth, keep the future in view. A good rule of thumb is that a student’s total debt should be manageable based on their expected starting income. Loading a student with debt that limits their ability to move, work, give, or build a life is something to think carefully about. On the parent side, borrowing large amounts can delay retirement, increase stress, and limit flexibility in later years.
There is also an emotional side to this that should not be ignored. As parents, there is a natural desire to give your children every opportunity. That is a good thing. But sometimes the most loving decision is also the most disciplined one. Choosing a school that fits the financial plan, setting limits, and having honest conversations about cost are all part of that.
At the end of the day, this is not just a math decision. It is a life decision. The goal is not just to get through college, but to position both the student and the parents for a healthy financial future. When you approach it with clarity, discipline, and a willingness to say no when needed, you put your family in a much stronger place long term.
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.” Proverbs 13:22